I believe it is important to also discuss the struggles within my practice as well as the triumphs, as being an artist (or attempting to be one) is not as easy as others think. There comes times where you are faced with hard realisations, or facts. Although they are not nice to hear, sometimes it is best to listen to others and give it a go. This tutorial was proof of this for myself.
Upon meeting with my lecturer and displaying my concepts and ideas for this project, I was informed that drawing and 2 dimensional imagery is not successful for me. My drawings and painted illustrations, as well as GIF/ digital art, are not good enough to be involved in any aspect in my degree show, as it could lead to myself not gaining a successful outcome.
Hearing this information was a little disheartening, and a bit of a confidence knock. I have always had a lack of confidence in my drawing, as no matter how hard I try, or how much I push myself to create work and improve, I am never quite good enough. I have gone through life being taught that if you want something, and strive for it hard enough then it is possible. This tutorial for me was a sign that what I enjoy (drawing, painting and sketching), is never going to work. Unfortunately, I have to cut myself free from my hobby and safe-zone of creating art in sketchbooks and on paper, and do what works for others instead of what works for myself in order to gain success in my degree.
This was also a unsettling truth for me, as growing up, I was told to do what I enjoy, and that art is about expressing yourself. Going into this art world, I have learnt that you can only express yourself by following others criteria. You cannot stay entirely true to yourself if you wish to achieve a form of success and achieve what you set out for. Throughout these past three years, I have been expressing myself in what way I think best suits me and my subject of conversation; although, it is clear that contrary to what one is taught, the art world is not about expressing yourself. It is about falling to fit the critics criteria if you wish to achieve what you set out for, and in this case, for me, it is a good degree. It is due to this that I will take the suggestions and no longer draw, sketch, or illustrate in 2- dimensional form.
So, here we go for the third time so far in this academic year (only five months in), let’s start again.